Becoming My (Restless) Self.

Becoming My (Restless) Self.

Saturday, January 10, 2015

At the beginning of every New Year I seem to make the same resolution... Read my bible daily. Pray more. Genuinely study the gospel. Have faith. Talk to God. Trust. Experience joy, regardless.

I'm reading two bible studies right now that I am becoming more obsessed with every day. One of them is called Restless; it's not as much a bible study as it is a "how to" when it comes to coping with your wants, needs, and God's plan for your life. It is a life changing book. I have felt so restless over the last year. Restless in terms of wanting the hardships to be over. Restless in waiting for the perfect job and opportunity to come my way. Restless in terms of my relationship and the next step we need to take. Restless in wondering if my personal dreams line up with God's dreams for me. This book has taught me that it's not about what I want for myself, but what God wants me to do for His kingdom.

"What if we took pieces of our lives (no matter what the world says they are worth) and began to use them to help others flourish for the sake of Christ? All of a sudden our motives would narrow to contain more of God and others, and less of us." - Restless

Trust.

The other bible study book I'm reading is the book I am studying in my E-Group, Becoming Myself. It is about knowing that God is greater than anything in this world. That when you surrender your life to him, and let him write your story, it is going to be way more amazing than anything you could ever narrate yourself. It focuses on relinquishing fear and anxiety, and gaining faith. It has moved me in so many ways. I've always dealt with anxiety, over stupid things like fear that my family will get hurt in some crazy way, or over my future. Becoming Myself teaches me that we shouldn't fear the unknown, because God knows all.

"You probably know what you have been afraid to entrust to God. When we surrender our fear, we are offering it to Jesus. We are saying "This fear is too much fear for me to bear. I give it to you because I believe you are good and worthy of my trust." When we actively, by faith, lay down our fears at the feet or Jesus, we pick up his love in return. It is an uneven trade, a heavenly exchange." - Becoming Myself

Faith.

It sounds silly, but when I read these books I get this bizarre feeling in my stomach. It's a mix between wanting to burst out laughing, and getting butterflies. I've always felt this way, and I've always thought it was so strange. It wasn't until recently that I realized what this feeling is... it's joy. It's joy and happiness that bubbles up inside me when I realize that I have nothing to worry about. God is in control. How awesome is that? God has my life planned out!! Now I am embracing this feeling. I love it and I can't wait to see what journey I am taken on with this fresh perspective.

Cheers to 2015!